So I went to the doctor on Tuesday, confident that my foot was going to be fine, and I would be walking without the boot by that afternoon, and running within a few days. It never crossed my mind that what I wanted may not happen.
My foot never really “hurt” except the couple days after I ran, so I really had no way of knowing if it was better. They did some more x-rays, the doctor came in…and then he started pushing. hard. on the top/bones of my foot going to my toes. OW!!!! It. still. hurt. bad. He said the x rays still showed the exact same thing they showed before….but he was concerned that it sill hurt when he pressed on my foot in a couple of places. He decided I could come out of the boot, with the understanding that I was to put it back on if it started hurting….and that I couldn’t run, and needed to come back to see him in two more weeks. Ouch.
I was under the impression I would be able to start training and possibly run a half marathon the last weekend of January. Boy was I wrong. I tried so so hard to hold it together and not cry in front of the doctor, I was able to wait until I got into the car, but even that was difficult. I was a little in shock, and very, very angry. My third injury in two years. Always right when I start to get faster. Why. why. why. why. why. I had a pretty big pity party for myself for a full day.
After a lot of thinking, and a lot of praying, I realized a few things.
1.) I am still mad. I think it’s going to take awhile for that to go away.
2.) Even though I am mad, and aware that I am mad, I know I will get over it, and be ok with it.
3.) I cannot change what happened. It is what it is, and all I can do is try to make the best of it.
4.) I can either sit around and mope and be bitter, or I can try to learn something from this and be better because of it.
5.) I do not have to be a victim of my circumstances. I can still be positive despite what is going on in my life that I don’t like.
I am still in the “I’m getting there” stage, and by no means am I out of the angry stage. I hate missing half of the racing season. I hate that I worked so hard to get into half marathon shape and now it’s slowly going away. I hate that I don’t know exactly how long this is going to last or when I will be able to run again.
BUT, despite all of this, it is the week of Christmas, and I have SO MUCH to be thankful for. I am not going to let this ruin Christmas , or my outlook. I am sure I will still have some bad moments, but I am really trying to not allow myself to dwell on how annoyed I am. I am very blessed and a lot of worse things could be going on in my life right now. I have a home, and a family to spend Christmas with. I am going to try to focus on that the next few days and hopefully two weeks will fly by.
QOTD: When you are in a crappy situation, what helps you to get through it?