Doctor’s Orders

 

So I went to the doctor on Tuesday, confident that my foot was going to be fine, and I would be walking without the boot by that afternoon, and running within a few days. It never crossed my mind that what I wanted may not happen.

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My foot never really “hurt” except the couple days after I ran, so I really had no way of knowing if it was better. They did some more x-rays, the doctor came in…and then he started pushing. hard. on the top/bones of my foot going to my toes. OW!!!! It. still. hurt. bad. He said the x rays still showed the exact same thing they showed before….but he was concerned that it sill hurt when he pressed on my foot in a couple of places. He decided I could come out of the boot, with the understanding that I was to put it back on if it started hurting….and that I couldn’t run, and needed to come back to see him in two more weeks. Ouch.

I was under the impression I would be able to start training and possibly run a half marathon the last weekend of January. Boy was I wrong. I tried so so hard to hold it together and not cry in front of the doctor, I was able to wait until I got into the car, but even that was difficult. I was a little in shock, and very, very angry. My third injury in two years. Always right when I start to get faster. Why. why. why. why. why. I had a pretty big pity party for myself for a full day.

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After a lot of thinking, and a lot of praying, I realized a few things.

1.) I am still mad. I think it’s going to take awhile for that to go away.

2.) Even though I am mad, and aware that I am mad, I know I will get over it, and be ok with it.

3.) I cannot change what happened. It is what it is, and all I can do is try to make the best of it.

4.) I can either sit around and mope and be bitter, or I can try to learn something from this and be better because of it.

5.) I do not have to be a victim of my circumstances. I can still be positive despite what is going on in my life that I don’t like.

I am still in the “I’m getting there” stage, and by no means am I out of the angry stage. I hate missing half of the racing season. I hate that I worked so hard to get into half marathon shape and now it’s slowly going away. I hate that I don’t know exactly how long this is going to last or when I will be able to run again.

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BUT, despite all of this, it is the week of Christmas, and I have SO MUCH to be thankful for. I am not going to let this ruin Christmas , or my outlook. I am sure I will still have some bad moments, but I am really trying to not allow myself to dwell on how annoyed I am. I am very blessed and a lot of worse things could be going on in my life right now. I have a home, and a family to spend Christmas with. I am going to try to focus on that the next few days and hopefully two weeks will fly by.

QOTD: When you are in a crappy situation, what helps you to get through it?

Comments

  1. I totally feel for you right now! It sucks that you’ve worked so hard and it’s going to be even longer to put it good use. As a runner, you begin to crave the run, so I really really hope that you’ll be out there sooner than you think. When I’m in a bad mood, I usually need to just be alone, otherwise I end up saying things I don’t really mean. I also get out my journal and just get it all out!

  2. Oh, Heather, I feel so sorry for you! Sucky sucky foot!

    However, I think you’re dealing with this thing with grace! Yay on holding your head up high! And you will get out of this stronger and a better runner. No doubt in my mind!

  3. So sorry you can’t run right now. I can’t either, due to getting my wisdom tooth out, but hopefully next week I will be starting again (I can work out this week just gotta take it easy, so mostly bike). It sounds like you’re doing a good job going to the gym though and doing what you can, so you shouldn’t lose TOO much of your fitness. The break might actually help your legs a little, you never know… but it still sucks that you can’t run! And of course you think about all those who can run and just chose not to and that stinks too :(. I hope you feel better soon and speedy healing wishes for your foot!

  4. Sorry about the doctor’s orders. My foot doc couldn’t help me at all. You’d think we’d all have a better understanding of feet by now. So frustrating!

    Absence makes the heart grow fonder, so just think how much you’ll enjoy running once you’re finally able to.

  5. Like they say been there done that, it sucks really bad to be injured and the doc says you can’t run. Like you say though there are so many other things to be thankful for, you have a community to support and help you through the injury, your family and it is a temporary thing (even though it will seem like forever), if you are patient, you will be back running before you know it.

    Just work on your upper body and give the feet a rest, but do what you can.

    Good luck and keep smiling – good things will happen. They just take time sometime.

    H.

    • Thanks for the encouragement. I have been doing upper body and riding the stationary bike, but if I never look at a bike again it will be too soon aaahhh!

  6. So sorry that you did not get cleared to run, I know that can be so frustrating! It sounds like you are doing a good job processing this news though, and remembering all the blessings you do have in your life. Last year you were a rockstar at half marathons, so maybe this is just your body asking for a break. Wishing you a speedy recovery and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas!

  7. Oh, bummer! I hate that it wasn’t good news. And you have every right to have that anger. It’s understandable. So feel it, process it, and then move on stronger. Which I know you will. Big hugs!

  8. Oh Heather! I am so sorry!

    I’m not going to sit here and say, “I know exactly how you feel” because I HATED it when people said that to me during my injuries this year. No one knows exactly how you are feeling because everyone deals with this sort of thing differently. I can sympathize with the feelings of frustration, disappointment, and anger. I know that there are a lot of tears, possible yelling, and moments of anxiety. I don’t know your feelings and emotions exactly, but know that I do understand the general frustrations with an injury like this.

    Take it from the girl who had not one but two stress fractures in the past year: you will heal and you will come back even stronger. You will come back a smarter and more patient runner. The healing process may seem like a zillion years long, but when you are finally healed enough to run again, you will never again take running for granted. And when you do return to running, it may not be easy, but you will be surprised that it is not as difficult as you may think. The body is incredibly resilient and adapts quickly.

    You may miss some races this season, but you have a many more races ahead of you. Don’t think about the races you may be missing because it will drive you crazy. Use this time to focus on some non-running goals, fall in love with other forms of exercise, and rehab your injury.

    To make a lengthy comment short, I am thinking of you and sending you healing vibes. I hope that this injury can be put behind you soon!

    • thanks for the encouragement girl, I know you have been through it too. how long did your’s take to heal? were either in your foot?

      • I had a shin splint (although now I’m convinced it was a minor fracture) in February and an ankle stress fracture over the summer. Both were on the left leg, but not the foot.

        The shin took 6 weeks to heal and the ankle took a bit longer- close to 3 months. The ankle was FAR worse than the shin and it was very stubborn, but it healed. I think that PT really helped because they helped me re-train the muscles around the ankle through using an underwater treadmill.

        Everyone heals at different rates. My therapist said that my shin should have taken much longer to heal and my ankle should have taken a lot less time than it did.

        I think that you being in the boot for a few weeks really helped you. While you still have pain even though you are no longer wearing the boot, you did not have as much weight bearing on it for a few weeks. I was never given the option of a boot, something my therapist also said that I should have been in.

        Fractures are tricky because they will hurt and hurt and then one day you wake up and poof- it won’t hurt anymore.

        Chin up! It does it better, even though it may not seem like it right now.

  9. So sorry to hear the news. At least the boot is off, right? These two weeks will fly by.
    When I am in a difficult situation that I can not change (like living with the in-laws for 6 months waiting on our house), I try to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel and try not to dwell in the present. You will have a lot going on with Christmas and New Years, so these two weeks will be over before you know it and you can start looking forward to the RnRNOLA races!

  10. Ugh, I am so sorry. Getting injured really sucks. Just remember you will heal and you will run again if you take care of your injury! When I was in PT for my knee I tried to throw myself into things I could to help heal and keep in shape like my PT exercises and elliptical, bike, etc.

  11. Ugh, sorry u didn’t get the news you were hoping for :-(. Not knowing when it’s going to get better is definitely stressful!! I am very lucky with my foot issue in that I am still able to run, I just have to run slow, take walk breaks often and I’ve been running about half the amount I would like to. BUT, I am still able to run so I can’t complain. My foot started bothering me in May. I can’t believe that it is now December and it is still not right. I skipped a 50 miler but haven’t missed anything else. I think a good thing is that it’s allowing our bodies rest so hopefully we will come back even stronger.
    Don’t worry too much about losing your speed, I think a lot of ppl naturally speed up as they gain experience and u have so much experience with halfs that you’ll get right back to where you were in no time. But for now, it is frustrating and scary too! I will be thinking of you and your foot! I wish you the best!!!!!

  12. Ugh!! I’m sorry to hear that. It sucks. Especially realizing you are going to miss out on races – I just about cried last year when I realized I wasn’t going to be able to do the Princess Half. Be angry and get that feeling out! But I’m glad to see you are trying to stay positive!! Hopefully the next few weeks will fly by and you’ll get the go ahead from the doc!

  13. Ugh! I’m so sorry! I hate that for you. You have every right to be upset. I would have cried as well. I seem to get down alot over silly things and the only way I get out of my pity party is talking to my brother, spending time in Gods word, prayer, or just saying snap out of it!! I am blessed regardless and this small problem is nothing compared to the important things. I’ve only been injured once and unable to run for a week. I was miserable!!!! I am amazed at how strong you have been. You inspire me!!

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  2. [...] to 2012, I have some exciting things coming up….like a doctor’s appointment on Tuesday as a 2nd follow up for my foot. Hopefully, I will FINALLY be cleared to run (I haven’t run since Thanksgiving.) I have been [...]

  3. Cleared | says:

    [...] and he said I could start back slowly as long as I didn’t have any pain. He said the pain I had after our last visit was probably a bruise from him pressing on it. I told him it was a different pain than the injury [...]

  4. […] my friends, if you have been reading my blog for awhile, you know nearly two years ago I suffered from a stress fracture in my foot right in the middle of racing season. I was devastated, and was in a walking boot for many weeks and didn’t run for 9 or ten […]

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