10 Years

Today marks a day that always seemed “so far away” when I first got married. Yup, Bobby and I have been married for ten years today.

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Back then when I thought about being married for ten years, I tried to think about what my life would look like at that point. It’s quite comical, because nothing looks as if I thought it would! Never did I think we would both be in the careers we are in, or that I would be living in Tampa. I also always thought I would have a ten year anniversary vow renewal. Maybe for 15? (Bobby is going to kill me).

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While many things look different and have changed, one thing remains the same. There is no one else I would rather share my years with than the guy I said “I do” too in New Orleans ten years ago tonight. Cheers to ten more years!

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For a full wedding recap with lots of pictures, check out this post.

QOTD: Are you where you thought you would be ten years ago? Favorite wedding cake flavor?

Stop the Hate

On Monday night, I watched the Bachelorette’s Men Tell All episode. (I also totally realize you may have officially lowered your opinion of me now that you know that I watch said show.) Anyway, it’s always one of my favorite episodes because you get to see the contestants get “real” about their season, ask questions, and hopefully get some closure. Monday’s episode took an interesting turn that I have never seen before, and it really struck a chord with me.

Midway through the show, the bachelorette Kaitlyn was brought out. Now, I will be honest and say she has made some decisions I personally wouldn’t make, but that’s her prerogative and she seems like a very nice (and pretty funny) person. Chris Harrison started talking to her about some of the decisions she has made on the show, and then the topic turned to how hateful some of the viewers have been. My ears immediately perked up when the began talking about remarks made to Kaitlyn on social media, and my heart immediately went out to her.

There were people tweeting to her calling her a whore, cursing at her, and telling her she needs to die. To DIE people! How AWFUL is that? I immediately got a pit in my stomach as I watched tears well up in this poor girls eyes. Kaitlyn went on to say that she has gotten death threats, and one of the most hateful of the messages read out came from a mother.  Kaitlyn was so shocked, and didn’t understand why someone would spread such hate that has a child….how is this mother any better for teaching her child how to hate with the way she was talking to Kaitlyn?

Oh my friends, this hits so, SO close to home for me. I have been blogging over five and a half years now, and have gotten my fair share of hateful comments, emails, tweets, and the like. I absolutely do not expect everyone to like me, read my blog, or agree with me, (it would be WEIRD if you did!) but I DO expect people (especially MOTHER’S for crying out loud!) to show some respect, kindness, and compassion. Saying something hurtful then disguising it as “I have a right to my opinion” isn’t nice either. Just because you CAN say something, doesn’t always mean you should.

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It seems like the majority of the hate I have gotten has come since having my baby, and is directed at my parenting style. Why? I am honestly wanting to know why? For some unknown to me reason, mothers have this way of directly or passive aggressively making other moms feel bad about their parenting decisions, and it’s really not cool.

Unfortunately, I feel like most of the hate comes from insecurity, jealousy, and anger in a mother’s own lives, and I really and truly just want to give you a big hug. I will admit, my initial reaction is often anger. What did I personally do to you to deserve this? Why are you wasting precious time you could be spending with your own kids, writing me hate mail? Do you honestly CARE about what I do and don’t do with my child, or does it just make you feel better about yourself to make me feel bad?

But once I get over that initial anger, I truly feel sorry for you. Sorry that you have so much anger in your life that you need to blow off steam on someone, and obviously don’t have that outlet. Sorry that your three kids being home with you all day drives you insane but you feel too guilty to admit you really need a break from them. Sorry that you wish you could afford to stay home with your kids and you feel guilty because you don’t get to spend enough time with them. Sorry that you don’t have any family nearby so you never get to go on date nights or vacations. Mostly, I am sorry that you feel so alone with no one to discuss this with in a healthy (aka not bashing people online) way.

I wish I could just talk to you over coffee, and find out what I could do to help. I want to find out why it bothers you so much that I formula fed my baby after a month of unsuccessful breastfeeding. I want to find out why the fact that I travel for work and leisure and leave her with her very capable grandparents for a few days makes you so angry that you leave passive aggressive comments about it on my blog. I want to find out what I have personally done to make you lash out, and get to the root of the problem.

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I so, so wish that moms would be more encouraging and compassionate. We know how HARD raising kids can be, so instead of pointing the finger and declaring that what someone else did as “wrong” why not be sympathetic? Aren’t we all trying to strive toward a common goal? To raise these tiny humans to be happy, healthy, and the best that they can be? I don’t know what is going on in your life behind closed doors just as you don’t know what is going on in mine. I am working really hard to never try to measure someone else’s pain. Just because I find a tough situation “not that bad”, doesn’t mean it’s easy for someone else to deal with. None of us really know what others are going through.

I know it’s so easy to read a blog or an Instagram profile and feel like someone else has it “easy”, or is “lucky”, but just remember, you may not know the whole story. You may not know that a mom who formula feeds her baby would love to breastfeed but can’t due to a medical issue. You may not know that a mom who puts her kids in full time daycare needed to do so because she struggles with postpartum depression. You may not know that frequently traveling out of town is part of the job, and bills have to be paid.

Everyone is going through their own stuff y’all. Trials will always come, and I thank the Lord that He is there with me every step of the way because I can’t do it on my own. I pray that every hard time that comes will turn into a learning experience and an opportunity for me to grow and be better. I have made many many mistakes in my life, some even involve being rude to people online, and I will totally own it. The key is in the learning. I have grown up and hopefully am making better, kinder decisions every day.

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If you don’t like my blog, that’s fine, and I am ok with that! No one is forcing you to read it (I hope!) I really don’t want you wasting your time reading something that you don’t like, what fun is that? I know what I have to say is not for everyone, and that’s ok, too. I do want one thing though, I want us to all step back, and take a deep breathe. Before you hit the “submit” button on a Facebook status, blog comment, or tweet, just think about what you are writing. Re-read it. Can anything you are saying come across wrong, rude, mean, or passive aggressive? Is your comment going to genuinely HELP the person or tear them down? Is what you are about to say something that you would want a stranger saying to your child online? (that one gets me to stop and think every time!) Just be careful. be kind.

If we all took the hate and anger and disagreements we have with people, and instead of commenting online about it would say something nice or beneficial, this world would be a better place and we could hopefully get a handle on cyber bullying.

In closing and thinking back to the show, I hope that Bachelorette Kaitlyn realizes she has worth and value aside from what the people on social media said about her, and I hope YOU realize that you have value, too. If you ever need to chat, vent or cry, my door is open fellow mom, blogger, woman, or reader. I’m here, and I won’t judge. Life is hard, and we all need a cheerleader sometimes.

Love Story

 

I first saw this cute survey on Brittany’s blog and knew I had to post as well! So in honor of Valentine’s Day (a day late) here are my answers to our Love Story:

1. How long have you and your significant other been together?

We started dating September 2004, then we got engaged December 2005, and married January 2007…so…7.5 years? WOW! Doesn’t seem that long.

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2005

2. How did you meet? {What’s your “love” story?}

Bobby and I met a couple of times my freshman year of college but were both involved with other people. Both single, we really “met” our first weekend of college my sophomore year, his senior year. We were playing on opposing sand volleyball teams in the intermural tournament. He started talking to me and asked for my number “so he could let me know the next time they were playing volleyball so I could join.” Rrriiggghhhttt….

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2005

3. If married, how long have you been married?

We celebrated out five year anniversary on January 6 of this year.

4. Where did you get married? Big or small wedding?

We had a big New Orleans wedding, over 200 people. The ceremony was at First Baptist New Orleans and the reception was at Southern oaks Plantation. It was amazing.

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January 2007

5. Do you have any nick-names that you call one another? Do share!

Honey, sweetheart, hon, sweetie…boring stuff. :0P

6. Name 3 things you love most about your honey.

I could name a bunch but 1.) he loves God more than anything 2.) He would bend over backwards (and has) to make me happy. 3.) he has strong family and moral values that fit in with what we both want out of life.

7. Tell us how he proposed?

The day of my last winter exam Junior year. In the living room of my apartment after we watched an episode of Friends and ate dinner on TV trays. he said he just couldn’t stand it another minute.

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December 2005

8. Is he a flowers and teddy bear kind of guy for v-day, or strawberries, champagne, and rose petals?

Really not either. He can do both and has, but we are more low key and don’t tend to do traditional Valentine’s day gifts.

9. Are you a sunset dinner on the beach kind of girl, or pop a movie in and relax on the couch?

Once again, really both. We love the beach (and food!) but also love just relaxing together at home.

10. Tell us one thing you’d like to do with your significant other one day. If you could do anything? Go anywhere?

Hhhmm…we love to travel, so just travel more I guess? I’m boring, I have come to grips.

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2004

11. Tell us what you plan on doing on this Valentine’s Day.

Well I can tell you what we DID, since it was yesterday. We both worked and then met at our favorite Mexican restaurant for dinner. Then we had to go to Wal-Mart and buy him some specific clothes for a TV show he is filming in today as an extra, then we came home and hung out.

12. Are you asking for anything this Valentine’s day?

I didn’t ask for anything in particular but got two amazing gifts. A new piece of furniture and a trip to Disneyland to run the half marathon! I get my coast to coast medal!

13. Give us one piece of advice of keeping a relationship strong and full of love.

Communication. I know it’s cliché but your spouse cannot read your mind, so talk and share.

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2006

14. Show us a picture of what love means to you.

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QOTD: What did you do for Valentine’s Day? Doesn’t have to be sappy, romantic, or even have to do with love!

*Rouge Orleans recaps start TOMORROW!

5 Years ago today….

 

5 Years ago today, my husband got down on one knee (the night I had finished my last final exam for the semester!)

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He asked me to be his wife

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After we had eaten mac and cheese and hot dogs

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and watched an episode of Friends (which we did every time we ate, we went through all 10 seasons more than once!)

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In my college apartment (which I loved and miss by the way!)

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I haven’t looked at our engagement pictures in years (except for the one or two in frames around the house.) It’s really fun to look back! My how we have changed. Bobby looks like a little boy to me in these pictures!

Here are a few from our engagement party at my parents house:

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This is the day after we got engaged:

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I was trying to figure out how I was thinner than I am now because I only worked out once a week or so…then I remembered, I HATED our college cafeteria food so I didn’t eat a lot those days. HA! Totally unhealthy, I know, but it’s what happened!

I cannot believe it has been five years that I have been “spoken for” I guess you could say. Most days I still feel like a college kid. (I get in trouble when I call people mam or sir….I forget I am not 15 anymore! Southern habit!) I can say that I am so happy to be married to the man of my dreams. He is an amazing man and I am so blessed to be married to him! Our anniversary is Jan 6 so more sappiness to come! Smile 

QOTD: Do you still feel 14? Are you 14? haha!