Doctor’s Orders

 

So I went to the doctor on Tuesday, confident that my foot was going to be fine, and I would be walking without the boot by that afternoon, and running within a few days. It never crossed my mind that what I wanted may not happen.

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My foot never really “hurt” except the couple days after I ran, so I really had no way of knowing if it was better. They did some more x-rays, the doctor came in…and then he started pushing. hard. on the top/bones of my foot going to my toes. OW!!!! It. still. hurt. bad. He said the x rays still showed the exact same thing they showed before….but he was concerned that it sill hurt when he pressed on my foot in a couple of places. He decided I could come out of the boot, with the understanding that I was to put it back on if it started hurting….and that I couldn’t run, and needed to come back to see him in two more weeks. Ouch.

I was under the impression I would be able to start training and possibly run a half marathon the last weekend of January. Boy was I wrong. I tried so so hard to hold it together and not cry in front of the doctor, I was able to wait until I got into the car, but even that was difficult. I was a little in shock, and very, very angry. My third injury in two years. Always right when I start to get faster. Why. why. why. why. why. I had a pretty big pity party for myself for a full day.

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After a lot of thinking, and a lot of praying, I realized a few things.

1.) I am still mad. I think it’s going to take awhile for that to go away.

2.) Even though I am mad, and aware that I am mad, I know I will get over it, and be ok with it.

3.) I cannot change what happened. It is what it is, and all I can do is try to make the best of it.

4.) I can either sit around and mope and be bitter, or I can try to learn something from this and be better because of it.

5.) I do not have to be a victim of my circumstances. I can still be positive despite what is going on in my life that I don’t like.

I am still in the “I’m getting there” stage, and by no means am I out of the angry stage. I hate missing half of the racing season. I hate that I worked so hard to get into half marathon shape and now it’s slowly going away. I hate that I don’t know exactly how long this is going to last or when I will be able to run again.

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BUT, despite all of this, it is the week of Christmas, and I have SO MUCH to be thankful for. I am not going to let this ruin Christmas , or my outlook. I am sure I will still have some bad moments, but I am really trying to not allow myself to dwell on how annoyed I am. I am very blessed and a lot of worse things could be going on in my life right now. I have a home, and a family to spend Christmas with. I am going to try to focus on that the next few days and hopefully two weeks will fly by.

QOTD: When you are in a crappy situation, what helps you to get through it?

Boot Reflections: 3 weeks

 

It’s here, it’s here! The day I have been waiting for! No, not Christmas, it’s the day I HOPEFULLY get my boot off! It has been three weeks, and I will be honest, they have FLOWN by. Has the boot been an inconvenience? Yes. Do I miss running? Heck yes! But in a way I think it’s been good to take a break regroup, and force me to get back to cross training and weight lifting (two things I have been ignoring.)

The first 1.5 weeks were hard, because I didn’t have a gym membership. But then the YMCA finally opened, and I have been there every day they have been open except for one, due to an out of town wedding. I even managed to hobble around with the boot for the wedding (although for the actual ceremony I did wear ballet flats)

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Rehearsal Dinner

The halfway mark seems like yesterday, and the day I thought would never come has arrived. When I first was put in the boot, I shared with you some of my honest fears of losing fitness and gaining weight. I am happy to report I have maintained my weight over the past three weeks, even with lifting weights 4-5 x’s a week, which makes you gain a little weight.

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I have maintained a healthy relationship with food, and have been able to indulge in plenty of holiday treats during this time. Will it take awhile to get back to the running shape I was in? Probably, but I am just so ready to be out there again that I am ok with that.

So now I want to share with you my new fear…..I am afraid that if/when I am cleared to run…the pain is going to come back. My foot stopped hurting about a week into being in the boot, and so the only way I am going to be able to tell if it’s better is going to be to run on it at least 3 miles or so. I am not sure what the doctor is going to say as far as easing back into running, or heck this is even assuming I get out of the boot today! But I am definitely afraid the pain is going to come back, be chronic, etc. So I am praying that all goes well this morning and that I can re-join the ranks of the running!

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QOTD: Coming back from an injury have you ever been afraid it would come back to haunt you again?

*If you are a blogger running the Disney Princess half and are interested in a meet up, please vote on the poll on my right sidebar for a date and time!